I Just Want To Feel Normal

     It has been 5 weeks since I started my new medication for depression. It is NOT working. I didn't even realize I could feel worse until now. I'm also super anxious, way more then I have ever been. I

feel like screaming I'm just filled with unrest and uneasiness. There are times where I just want to scream to release some of the anxiety. I don't know what to do with these feelings. Normally if I am anxious, I have a reason but there is no reason for this so there is no way to release or reason with myself. I will just be sitting here and start to freak out over nothing. My heart rate will just start racing and I'll hyperventilate.. this has happened while I was asleep and I woke up freaking out. I'm just so anxious and so depressed. It is getting difficult to make myself get up and do things. It is hard to convince myself that I really need to do the dishes, or eat, or move. I was hoping that this medicine would help, I really was. However, it definitely is not helping. I think it's making me worse. I also think that the Dr wasn't listening to me and gave me this medicine because she thinks I'm bipolar which I am not. Which she would have known had she listened or asked questions. Anyway, my appointment with my doctor is Tuesday, June 26th but I don't want to wait any longer. I am miserable. So now I am waiting for a call back to see if I can be seen at the end of this week. I don't even have words to explain how horrible I feel.
     I just wanted to update a little. I wanted to update more often about this but guys... it has just gotten so much worse. It's hard to write when I don't even want to sit up. Hopefully, this doctor will find a better medicine for me and soon!