Wednesday, November 7, 2018

A Huge Thank You

     Since my last update about my depression, I have not written about anything having to do with the subject. After that post things got worse. Cymbalta is not the medicine for me, it made me suicidal. I had to stop driving for fear of driving myself over a cliff or into a tree. I stopped cooking because I saw no point in eating. I would fake it until all the children I watched went home then lay on my bed and cry about how worthless I was. I knew that it was the medicine making me worse so I went to the doctor and we stopped it. We waited a few weeks then started Lexapro. This is a medicine I had previously been on in my teen years and it helped from what I remember. The only reason we didn't try this first was that we were hopeful the Cymbalta would help with pain management as well as the depression.

   It has been a slow uphill battle to climb out of my depression this time. I have had to lean on a lot of my loved ones, which thankfully are always there for me and very understanding. When this all started I noticed a lack of wanting to do things I love. One of those things being crocheting. One of my absolute favorite things to do is listen to books and crochet. For the last year, I have just looked at yarn and thought 'ugh it takes so much time to make things. Why bother? It's useless, you could be doing something productive and you're not even doing that.' All those self-doubts and self-hate when I was feeling down just seemed to pile up and circle around my head; making me even less productive because I could only focus on those thoughts.

     However, yesterday I started crocheting again! It may seem like a little thing to some but for me it is huge. It's comforting again, I am excited to make things and give them to those loved ones who helped me through this time. I'm excited to make little hats for all the kids I watch and fingerless gloves for my mom and her nurse! I'm EXCITED which is something I haven't felt in what feels like, forever. I am no longer numb. Do I have down days? Yes like everyone else I have down days but I cook dinner every night, I get up every morning and get my daughter ready for school. I greet every baby with a smile and a hug, I check in on my friends, I check in on my family, and I open my blinds and look at the gorgeous trees changing outside my windows. I finally feel like me again!

   Thank you to everyone who has stood by my side, checked in on me, brought me coffee or food when I couldn't make any for myself, and for just sitting with me even though I didn't feel like talking. I appreciate all of you and all that you've done. I would not have made it through without you.

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Whoa! 17 Books!



⭐⭐⭐

I gave this 3.5 stars. It was a really good YA thriller. I think I would have rated it much higher had I not been let down by all the build-up of the main characters past. I was expecting what had happened in her past, which caused her to move and her parents to ignore her, would be this huge horrible thing. Don't get me wrong what happened was not great but it wasn't the end all that it was made out to be. Other than that it was an awesome thriller. I highly suggest it. 



⭐⭐⭐



⭐⭐⭐

3.5 stars. This was a cute book.



⭐⭐⭐

3.5 stars. This was a good book but I don't think I will be continuing on with the series. 



⭐⭐⭐⭐

This was my 100th book of the year and it was picked by a friend of mine for me to read. It was such a good story.



⭐⭐⭐⭐

I love when I stumble across Kindle Unlimited books that are about cults! One day I'll do a big blog entry on books about cults that I want to read or have read. There was a little more romance then I expected in a thriller book but it wasn't long and I only had to hit skip 30 seconds forward once or twice.



⭐⭐⭐

I liked the first book in this series so much that I moved on to the second without even thinking. I just assumed it would have the same characters in it. I was wrong. It had 1 similar character but not even one of the main characters. It was a good story but I didn't connect with it as well as the first book.



⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is the last book in the series and competes with the first as the best. I highly highly suggest this book. They can all be read as stand alones so feel free to just skip to this book. 



⭐⭐⭐⭐

I gave this book 4.5 stars. It was fantastic. Despite what the title and book cover makes you think it is not a how-to on being a happy family. It is about two sisters who were adopted into very different families and the mother who gave them up. It was a great story that didn't end with me wanting to throttle anyone like the last book I read like this. 



⭐⭐⭐

3.5 stars for this cute cozy mystery



⭐⭐⭐⭐

I felt like I was there in the shop with them! I loved it. 




I wanted just a short thriller to read during the 24-hour readathon I was taking part in, so I picked a James Patterson book. I thought, you can't go wrong with a Patterson book. I was wrong. So wrong. I hated this book. It was confusing and made no sense. It sounded like the outline of a story but not even a story I would read. I was hugely disappointed with this book. It was horrible. 



⭐⭐⭐



⭐⭐⭐⭐

I only picked this book because the book I wanted to read was the second in this series. Another series where I didn't really have to read the first book but I didn't know that at the time. I enjoyed this book a lot except after listening to the book for a while I wondered why there was so much sex happening. I looked up the book more thoroughly and found out it was a 'romantic suspense novel'. This are not things that are listed under a quick search in the kindle store. It was listed under mystery/thriller so I went with it.  I don't mind a little romance here and there but not in my thrillers. Who has time to be sexing it up when there is all this danger?!



⭐⭐⭐⭐

There are two more books in the series but due to all the romance (border line erotica at points) I don't think I will be continuing the series. 



⭐⭐⭐



⭐⭐⭐⭐



    I have no idea how I managed to read 17 books this month because it was my busiest month yet this year. I had a lot of 3 and 3.5 star reads this month. Very mediocre but I enjoyed a lot of books. I read out of my comfort zone a few times and still really liked the story lines. What did you read this past month that you loved? Did you read anything you hated? Let me know!

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Cheddar Cheese Bacon Broccoli Stuffed Chicken

    Last week I was looking on Pinterest for food ideas for a meal plan and came across this pin. Cheddar and broccoli stuffed chicken sounds amazing! I looked at the ingredient list and got what was needed. However, I never actually read the whole recipe. Once I got started and pulled up the website I realized I wanted to make it a little differently. Which really is no surprise to me because just about every time I read a recipe I change it in some way. I'm the kind of cook that just goes through and smells the seasonings to see which one calls to me that day. I very rarely make things the same way twice. Anyway, this was a hit with my family so I wanted to share how I went about making it.

     There are three of us so I took out 3 (thick) boneless chicken breasts and butterflied them (cut them in half but leaving one side attached). I then cooked them in a pan with some coconut oil, minced garlic, onion powder, and pepper. I cooked the chicken breasts on each side for 8 minutes. Then I took them, put them on a plate, and stuck them in the fridge.

     While I was waiting for my chicken to cool off I cooked some bacon, making sure it was crisp so I could crumble it later and cut up the broccoli until little pieces. I ended up with 1 cup of bacon crumbles and 1.5 cups of cut pieces of broccoli.

     Once the chicken was cooled off I took it out and placed each piece on its own square of tin foil. I put cheese, bacon crumbles, and broccoli on the right side of the chicken. After that, I folded it over, held it shut while putting some more cheese on top of the chicken with a little bit of bacon and broccoli. For the next part, imagine wrapping a potato in tin foil because that's exactly what I did with the chicken to make sure it cooked with everything still in the middle.

    I put my chicken in the oven for 25 minutes on 350. The reason for 25 minutes and not just enough time to melt the cheese was because 8 minutes on each side wasn't enough to fully cook the chicken due to its thickness.


     This meal was thoroughly enjoyed by all and there were no complaints. However, I think next time I make it I will need to add a few more spices or more of what I was using. I thought it tasted a little bland though I was given a 'get real' face when I said that out loud. We paired it with french fries, mostly because that was what was most convenient but maybe roasted potatoes or a cheddar rice would go great with it as well.

Friday, October 12, 2018

The Devil's Daughter



Growing up in a small town isn’t easy, especially when you’re the daughter of a local cult leader. Ten years ago, Eden Collins left Clear Springs, Montana, and never once looked back. But when the bodies of murdered young women surface, their corpses violated and marked with tattoos worn by her mother’s followers, Eden, now an FBI agent, can’t turn a blind eye. To catch the killer, she’s going to have to return to the fold.

Sheriff Zach Owens isn’t comfortable putting Eden in danger, even if she is an elite agent. And he certainly wasn’t expecting to be so attracted to her. As calm and cool as she appears, he knows this can’t be a happy homecoming. Zach wants to protect her—from her mother, the cult, and the evil that lurks behind its locked gates. But Eden is his only key to the tight-lipped group, and she may just be closer to the killer than either one of them suspects…


   There are three books in this series and they are all on Kindle Unlimited with audio. I am excited I stumbled across this series and so far, it is really good. Although, it is not a book I can listen to with children around.

Edited to add: Whoa this suspense/mystery got a little more sexual than I was expecting. That's not really my favorite aspect of books so we will see how this goes. 

Friday, October 5, 2018

Serial Killer For A Father



What if the world's worst serial killer...was your dad?

Jasper "Jazz" Dent is a likable teenager. A charmer, one might say.

But he's also the son of the world's most infamous serial killer, and for Dear Old Dad, Take Your Son to Work Day was year-round. Jazz has witnessed crime scenes the way cops wish they could—from the criminal's point of view.

And now bodies are piling up in Lobo's Nod.

In an effort to clear his name, Jazz joins the police in a hunt for a new serial killer. But Jazz has a secret—could he be more like his father than anyone knows?


   I'm about half way through this book and so far I really like it. The kid is super creepy but then again a serial killer raised him. 

   What are you reading this weekend? Anything spooky?