Pain scale rant and unwanted answers

     I have an appointment with my Endometriosis doctor in the morning. I scheduled it because I was starting to have pain again. Now my numbers – ah, the life of someone with chronic pain. Yes, I live my life on 1 -10 pain scale. Without thinking, when I’m explaining my pain to someone I rate it on a scale “I’m having a 4 kind of day.” People look at me like I’m crazy and then I realize that most people don’t live their life rating their pain. Most people don’t have pain daily. I wish. I wish. I wish. Until the time where I can look at someone like they are crazy when they talk in numbers.. 1- 10 it is. While I’m on the subject of this 1-10 pain scale let me rant and rave about it. This is a ridiculous portrayal of pain. Their 8 looks like he’s mildly in pain. 6 looks like a little discomfort and 4 looks just plain ridiculous. These pain scales have always annoyed me. I understand they need a general pain scale for everyone. However, when you are dealing with someone with chronic pain – their pain scale is a little different. I tried explaining this to my doctor one time. He looked at me odd so I went with this
Me: Have you ever sprained your ankle?
Dr: Yes
Me: Okay so you know that sharp searing pain that goes up your leg the second you sprain your ankle?
Dr: Ouch.. yes
Me: And that’d be rated like an 8-10 for most people right?
Dr: Yes, sounds about right
Me: Okay well I feel that pain in my uterus on a daily occasion. I’d say it was a 4-6 MAYBE.
Dr: ::blank stare::
Me: Soo.. maybe you could work on a chronic pain scale?
Dr: ::blank stare::
Me: my pains a 10 on your scale sir.
Dr: thank you.
     I came across a wonderful pain scale one time that I fully plan on printing out and bringing with me to my doctors appointments. It’s by hyperbole & a half and it’s absolutely genius. It’s much more closer to reality then the other.
     Alright, let me back track, sorry about the rant but it’s most likely going to happen again. Okay, so before I got pregnant my pain was ranging daily from 6-9 and on 10 days I’d end up in the ER. Hopefully I won’t get back to 10 days otherwise you’ll see my struggles with the ER. Lets pray that does not happen. Well during pregnancy my pain got less and less and less until I was having pain free days. You have no idea how amazing it is to go from being in so much pain you have to sleep through the day because you are extremely hungry but your pain is so bad  you can’t get up the stairs to get something to eat, to going up and down the stairs 10-15 times day without pain. To not cry over leaving something up/downstairs because you have to wait for someone else to come home to get it. It was amazing. Anyway, I was pain free or pain only going up to a 2ish for about 4 weeks after giving birth. Granted I had other pain – helllooo just had a baby – but those pains weren’t Endo pains. Now my days range from 1-6. It’s a great range! It means my pain still isn’t really severe. My 5-6′s come in when I’m up and about for awhile. If I’m up walking around a lot that is when my pain gets more severe. For example: I went grocery shopping for two hours with my sister recently. I was shaking and teary by the time I got home. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to get both me and Haleigh in the house. I was considering just hanging out in the car until it was time to go get my grandmother from work. I only had two hours and Haleigh had just been changed, fed, and gone to sleep. The thought made me cry (plus curse some doctors who swore my pain would go away with pregnancy which I knew was a slim chance) so I got up enough strength to get us inside and on the couch. I called the doctor the second I could talk (pain takes my breath away sometimes) to make an appointment. This shit is not going to fly.
     So my appointment is tomorrow. I’m not even sure what I want to hear from him but here is a list of things I do not want to hear:
1) Pregnancy should have gotten rid of your Endo and pain
2) Sorry there is nothing I can do for you (I am worried about this because I am going to attempt breastfeeding again – that’s a whole nother entry)
3) Something else is probably wrong with you (meaning it’s not the Endo) so I’m going to send you to blah blah blah who may send you to blah blah blah who will inevitably tell you nothing is wrong with you/it’s all in your head/they have no idea what is wrong with you
     I’m sure there are more things I don’t want to hear I just hope he doesn’t say any of them. I just need something, reassurance that he understands and he’s reading all the new researches being done to find out a way to help me. I don’t know. I will keep you all updated.

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