Friday, December 9, 2011

A sad loss, a disappointing response

         As, many know now, Michelle Duggar had a second trimester miscarriage. Bob and Michelle were going in for their 20 week ultrasound when the doctor discovered that the baby had passed. It’s an understatement to say that having a miscarriage is devastating, especially, this far along. I somewhat follow the Duggar’s family’s journey on TLC and believe they are a wonderful family. I was very sad to hear about their loss on the morning news. Later in the day when I was able to get on the computer I saw that a lot of women in my infertility network were posting about the family. Most people were showing their remorse for the loss. Many of these women themselves have lost a baby pre-birth or after birth. I know to a lot of people the opinion of when a baby is a baby comes in to play, but not with these ladies. When you struggle to have a child, a beating heart means you have a baby.
However, there were a select few who had other comments to say. Of course with having a family in the media you expect to get negative feedback, no matter how well put together the family may be. Sure I saw some negative comments from other people I know on facebook and I saw the comments that people had left on articles on the internet. As much as all of those comments annoyed me, I was actually offended when I saw some of those comments coming from the ladies in my infertility circle. If you are a family that struggles to get pregnant, stay pregnant, and have a healthy child then how are you going to leave such horrible comments about someone having a miscarriage? We are a community that is suppose to be here for one another for support and caring words. How can someone who has experienced a miscarriage say “that’ll show her” or “maybe she’ll learn from it.” How can someone who desperately wants a baby of their own be so hateful to someone who has just lost theirs? No matter what you think of their family or situation it comes down to this: A family has just lost a child. A mother has just lost her baby. How can you expect us to believe your kind words to a friend who has lost her child when you were just saying that, that was God’s way of showing this family not to reproduce? I’m disappointed.

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