This comes from the site ERC I previously mentioned called Mendo. Mendo was started by John and Carey Blondin as a way to get support out to Men who are also going through this journey. John does an amazing job with his writing and support. If you have comments or suggestions feel free to send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
Men have a way of thinking about things that is very different than women. Even when we have been with someone for a long time, the way that we look at things are different. We do not always see eye to eye. This is not because we do not want to but more along the lines that we just think differently. This is a known fact, I am not putting forth something that is new and completely out in left field. This is part of the spice of life. Sometimes it is the things that fights are made of. This thing called Endo has many of us men baffled as to how to deal with it. We do not feel the pain, you do not look like you're in pain. There are no outward signs that you're in pain, no cuts, scraps, broken bones, no bleeding, so what gives? You look as beautiful and as sexy as you always did and I feel all the ways that I always have about you, so what gives, I do not understand?
You also have to remember that as men we're taught from early boyhood that pain is something that you shrug off, get up and keep playing. You "do not cry like a baby", you deal with it and go on. I know this for a fact. I also know that I learned the lesson so well that even when I am hurting badly I cannot bring myself to stop, cry and go on. I have a problem even telling Carey that I am hurting about something. Something went wrong after the vasectomy reversal operation. Two days after the surgery something tore and I started bleeding inside my right sack. The pain was so bad that I could not walk but I did not tell Carey until she saw that I was acting strange and questioned me. We are this way not because we want to be but this is the way that our fathers raised us and their fathers raised them.
First lets look at pain. We know that this disease causes pain for those that suffer it and we know that the pain varies in degree from person to person. We have been told by the doctors that not every person that has it feels it the same way because it depends on where the implants are, how extensive and how many adhesions there are. Ok, these things we know but what we don't know is just how WE are supposed to deal with it, the pain that is, and what we're to do to help the ones that we love that have it.
Well I can only tell you what I have learned to do about it. First and hardest is to learn that I am no longer in charge. (I know, the women just let us think that we're in charge.) I have had to learn that.... read the rest here, it is the fifth title down. This story was written by John Blondin from Mendo on the ERC website. He is an amazing support to all families who have to deal with this disease.