Yesterday (Wednesday) when I got here, Mom was sitting in a chair next to her bed. Which was a great thing to see! I came in and told her I was here, she mouthed to me that she hated her nurse and wanted her gone. My reply was I know, hopefully soon. Her nurse the last two days was not one of her favorites. When the doctors came around for rounds I listened in but as soon as they asked me if I had any questions or comments I cried. I have held it together with them but this time I just couldn't. I tried to get across that I was very upset about the decline in her mental health and that I thought it was from the episode she had on Sunday night. They said that they thought that the way she was acting was from all the medications she was on and that they were stopping and changing them around and that she would get better. All I could get out was I guess we will see before I turned my back and came back in the room. I told the nurse if there was anything I needed to know, such as a plan or something wrong to please tell me but I could not stand out there anymore. There is no point in my crying at them, it does not help them do their job nor does it help me. So I came back in and held mom's hand until I could gather myself then sat down for a few minutes. I say for a few minutes because all morning mom was trying to get up and go somewhere. She was very confused about her surroundings and what was going on. She kept trying to do something with her pillow, it looked like maybe she was attempting to sew something? She kept trying to open up her footstool (which does not open). She kept trying to mess with one of the things on her ventilator. All morning, I was having to tell her to sit down and stop touching stuff. She's been frustrated but yesterday she was angry. She kept threatening to punch me and the nurse (she was not saying this to the nurse though, she was just telling me). She was getting frustrated then it wold turn in to anger. It was hard to see because all I could do was try to calm her down and when I would do that she would say (and when I say 'say' I mean she would mouth the words) shut up, I am not five years old. I was glad that she was able to mouth things to me because on Tuesday she wasn't able to do that but she was not mouthing very nice things to me. She kept telling me whenever the nurse would leave that we had to go quick. Go quick? Yeah, go get the car. Then I would have to tell her that we had to stay here and she would get mad at me and try to push past me. She did not want to hear that she was attached to an IV pole and a breathing contraption. I just wanted them to put her back in the bed but since she has not been sleeping well at night they were trying to keep her sitting up for four or five hours then let her sleep, up for a few more hours then hopefully let her sleep through the night. Yesterday was very trying and exhausting but still progress from the previous day.
Today when I walked in the first thing I noticed was mom was asleep with mitts on. I asked why and they said that they had attempted to do an MRI but she was turning and such so they had to sedate her (a different medicine then they have been using). They were getting ready to take her to the MRI. SO frustrating because the whole point of the last few days was to be getting all meds like this out of her system and they had to give her more because there was no way she was going to get a MRI without them. Which, I completely understand, it is just frustrating. Right now, I am just hanging out waiting for Mom to come back and for the doctors to do rounds to figure out what the plan is for the day.
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Just talked to the doctors. Last night when they attempted to do the MRI and mom was getting anxious about it, they gave her anxiety medication and when it didn't work they gave her a little more. It still didn't work and actually seemed to make her worse, which is why they had to sedate her so she could calm down and not cause herself any harm. They are thinking that the anxiety meds, from prolonged use in the hospital or maybe just randomly, has decided to have a reverse effect on mom and cause her to get more anxious and upset. This is just something that happens some times. The plan today is to ween her off the sedation and to start the process of weening her off one of her anxiety medicines. Hopefully, we will see progress and since she is still in the MRI we won't have the outcome of that for a while. Most likely, I won't hear anything about it until afternoon rounds or possibly tomorrow morning. So, more waiting...
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