I wanted to write a post about something I am struggling with right now. Depression. I had all these thoughts and feelings I wanted to express. I wanted to share my ups and my downs. I wanted to share some things that help and things that definitely don't help. I wanted to give you an in-depth post about everything that comes with my depression. As I went to write this I realized that I can't. At least, I can't write it right now. I am currently very depressed. I have gone to my doctor to up my medicine. We did just that, then my body rejected it and I ended up in the hospital. I was told to go back to my original dosage and follow up with my doctor later on. This messed with my system for a while before I evened out to the horribleness I feel now. You have to see that as a depressed person I tried really hard (because it takes everything I have - all my energy to go to the doctor) and I failed. I know that it wasn't my fault but it just seems like another failure in my brain. Like another thing I just couldn't do right. Okay, I'm done.. I can't write anymore because I just can't handle talking any more about it. It's too much. I will eventually find a psychologist who will be able to find the right medicine for me because obviously this one is no longer working but that's a whole different problem that I can't discuss because it will end in me in hysterics as well. I wanted to share awareness about depression and I guess in a way I am.
Know that I am okay. I am not in danger of hurting myself or others. If I was I would take my self to the hospital (as I've done in the past). However, if you are depressed and are fearful that you may hurt yourself or someone else please call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to this website and start a chat with someone online. There are people who will listen and help talk you through your crisis. You are NOT alone.
I love you ❤
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