There are two articles I read over on The Mighty that really spoke to how I feel when dealing with pain from Endometriosis. Sometimes this disease can make you feel alone even when surrounded by people you love and because of that we sometimes feel like a burden.
I can relate to all 9 things listed in this article but I think the three I related with the most are:
1. I over apologize all the time. I apologize when I am in too much pain to cook dinner. I apologize when I have too many doctors appointments in one week. I apologize when I have to go to the ER for whatever reason. I apologize when we are struggling with paying bills because I cannot contribute as much as I would like. There are some days I apologize for crying.
2. I get frustrated. Some days when my pain gets to me instead of crying or apologizing, I just get frustrated. I get frustrated about what I wanted to do in life, with where I wanted to be. I get frustrated with the things that cause me pain - things as simple as showering. I get frustrated at food that hurts to eat, at the drinks I can't drink. I get frustrated at the exercise I can't complete. I get frustrated with not being able to work outside of the house. Sometimes one thing will set me off and then everything frustrates me. I just get angry at everything.
3. I lie about how I'm feeling. All. The. Time. I get so tired of telling people that I am in pain or that I cannot do something because of it. I lie to my friends and my family because it is easier to say 'sure I'm okay.' then to watch their faces when I tell them that I feel miserable, again.
Not only did this article, 9 Things People With Illnesses Don't Realize You're Doing Because You're Illness Makes You Feel Like You're A Burden, have a lot of insight to how someone with chronic pain/illness feels but at the end of it, it gives some great encouragement by members of the community.
In the second article, they say "It is important to remember you never truly know what others are going through. That is why we asked our Mighty community for something they do that people don’t realize they’re doing because they have endometriosis. Hopefully, their responses will shed some light on what it’s really like to have the condition. If you live with endometriosis, know that we see you, your pain is valid and you are not alone."
It is a short piece with a little intro to Endometriosis and then 24 quotes from different members of the community. I am going to include 5 quotes that I can relate to but I truly want everyone to go read 24 Things People Don't Realize You're Doing Because You Have Endometriosis.
“Spend more time at home without other people. I need recovery time and to be alone at home when I’m in pain.” – Adelie L.
“Saying ‘I’m just tired.’ It’s easier to just say that versus going into details about the constant pain I’m feeling that is truly exhausting.” – Athina F.
“Rocking. When the pain starts, I start to gently rock. As it grows, the rocking grows. Next is the rapid tapping of the foot, followed by the frown. I didn’t even know until my roommate told me.” – Jes M.
“Zoning out a lot when people talk to me. [I] don’t mean to, but when the pain gets really bad it’s all you can think of.” – Athena N.
“Naps! I nap several days a week. I simply can’t get enough sleep at night with the amount of pain I have. I also have to lay down several times per day to allow my back and abdomen to relax.” – Kendra L.
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