Friday, September 30, 2011

Prayers Needed

     Wednesday was by far not my favorite day. Tuesday, Sept 27th, I had gone to my mom's house to take care of her and try to convince her to go to the hospital. A week or two ago she was diagnosed with bronchitis, which is not outrageously uncommon for her since she has COPD, and was given a antibiotic and a steroid. Well, after taking the steroid for a few days she was feeling worse. She was dizzy and just not feeling well. Friday, when she came to town, we could all tell she was feeling horrible. She didn't look good, very dizzy, having trouble seeing, no appetite. Not good. Tuesday she called the doctor and told them what was going on. They said that they thought the medicine had effected her blood sugars (she previously was told she was a borderline diabetic) and to stop taking it - which she already had. They couldn't fit her in that day and told her to come in Wednesday afternoon. The nurse said not to go to the ER because they were just going to say she had to go to her regular doctor and it would be a wasted trip. I wanted mom to go to the ER. She was not doing well at all. She was having a lot of trouble seeing, talking, thinking, moving. It was scary. I went there Tuesday and took care of her the best I could, cooked dinner and such. I just wanted to be there to watch her and make sure she was okay, even if she wouldn't listen to me and go to the hospital. That night I left but planned to come back early the next morning.
     Wednesday morning me and Haleigh headed to mom's house. I spent the day at mom's doing whatever she needed me to do. I did her dishes and cleaned out the refrigerator. I was exhausted and in a lot of pain when I was done and was glad that all we had left to do was take mom to the doctor then go home. As we were getting ready to leave I hear mom go "oh god, OH NO!" Wonderful. I come in to find my child floating in her car seat. She had a poop explosion. She literally was floating. It was gross. I took her and the carseat in to the bathroom threw her in the bathtub and washed her. Handed her over to mom while I handled the car seat. *sigh* It was gross. Angela (my sister) kept walking by saying "I give you props Nikki" and "You're a trooper Nick." Not a trooper, no props needed. I am a mom this is what I do. So I bagged up all the grossness, washed off the car seat as best as I could (minus the cover which there was no saving until later when I was near a washing machine), dried it, and threw baby powder all over it. Next decision was, how do I put the blankets in the car seat to make it comfy and still safe. I did the best I could but as you can tell, she was no amused. My poor baby.
     At 3:30 we went to the doctors office. By this time mom's vision was very blurry, she felt like she was going to pass out, and had only had one meal in days. In a week she had lost 6lbs from not eating. The nurse took her blood sugar and all the machine said is HI. I asked her to do it again and she said "no need to, it means her sugar levels are too high to monitor on here." All I could think is, yeah okay just test it again! The doctor came in and said we needed to take her to the hospital, I should take the baby home and come back and that she'd probably be there for days. Hopefully they admit her through the ER because apparently he didn't have the ability to admit her himself. We left the doctors office and went back to my moms house to tell the girls what was going on. Before we left mom's house I checked her blood sugar with my meter (I had gestational diabetes) and my meter also said "HI." Not good. I dropped mom off at the ER, went back to town to pick up Grama from work and drop off Haleigh with Tyrone. Grama and I went back to Mom's house to pick up the girls and go to the ER. We got to the ER about three hours after I had dropped her off. We found out what her blood sugar was. 830. 830! Do you know how high that is? When I was pregnant they told me not to let my blood sugar go over 150. Mom's doctors told us that had she not come in she probably would have gone into a diabetic coma, which, if untreated could have been followed by death.
     Mom was told a few months ago that she was a borderline diabetic. That she could control it by exercise and diet. Her doctor gave her a meter, said you can check it or not but right now I don't see that it's really necessary because you aren't actually a diabetic yet. When she went in to see the doctor about having bronchitis he completely ignored the fact that she was a borderline diabetic. Steroids are the worst thing to give a diabetic. The doctor in the emergency room told us that because of this medicine she is now a full blown diabetic that has to have insulin. There, probably, is no going back now. I won't get in to what I think should happen to this doctor but I bet you can imagine what I'm thinking. After hours of waiting in the ER Mom was told she was going to be admitted to the ICU. Hearing that is extremely scary. I asked why the ICU? Why can she not be put in a regular room? The nurse said that she was in not in critical condition but the ICU was the only place that could do an insulin drop, which is what she needed. The nurse said that as soon as her numbers were down a little bit they would put her in a regular room.
     Yesterday, Thursday, early afternoon mom was put in a regular room. Her numbers were in the 100s, which is amazing!! I was so happy to hear that they were moving her to a regular room. As soon as I was done watching the little boy I babysit I headed to mom's house. My cousin was going to watch Haleigh for me while Angela, Alex (Ang's boyfriend), and I went to the hospital. Even though Mom was out of the ICU I didn't want to bring Haleigh to the hospital. We still don't know if she has my immune system or Tyrone's. No need to expose her to things anyway. Mom was still very fuzzy. She wasn't feeling good and her eye's still weren't focusing very well. The doctors told her that they were pretty sure her eye sight would go back to normal. Pretty sure? Mom's numbers were in the 300's all afternoon and night so the nurse wasn't sure that she would be getting out Friday like what they had originally planned. They want to have her on the right medicine regimen before she leaves. The nurse came in and said "You're a little sweet let's give you some insulin." I thought that was a really funny way of saying her sugars were high. I'm glad she had such nice nurses taking care of her. We left after an hour or so to let her rest.
     The doctors were expecting her to leave today. However, when I called earlier this morning and her numbers were still in the 300s. The nurse said yesterday that she doubted that mom would be sent home with numbers still in the 300s. I just spoke to mom and her numbers have shot up to the 500s again. Her doctor has not been in to see her yet but my guess is that she won't be coming home today. I will update as much as possible. For now please keep her and our family in our prayers.

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Tuesday, September 27, 2011


     I am not sure where to even start with this blog. I am extremely upset right now. My cousin, who my mother was attempting to gain custody of, has decided to go back to her home state and live with her mother. I won't go in to details but, I feel, this is a very bad decision. My cousin came to us in such a state of despair at the beginning of the summer. Her home life was less then perfect. Her mother has an addiction issue and was going downhill. Though her mother doesn't have custody of her, her grandmother does, she was staying with her mom. When she came to my mother's house there was a group (My cousin, mom, and her grandmother) decision to let her stay here. My mother got her in to school and switched over her health insurance to here.
     Last night my cousin decided she wanted to go back. After a week of talking to her mother she is convinced that she is doing better. She is home sick. I understand that, I get that, but I still think the best choice is for her to be here. She wasn't doing well there, here she is. I know it's hard to leave everything you know, I did the same thing when I was 12. My mother, sister, and I moved here, 7 hours away from everything I've ever known. I know it isn't easy. This was my biggest fear when she said she wanted to move here. I knew eventually her mother would get better (for a little while) and then she'd want to go back. I tried talking to her last night but her mind is made up. I tried talking to my mother about it but she feels like she can't make her stay. I feel that as her to be-legal guardian, yes she can. The whole point of all of this was to keep her safe and out of harms way. Sending her back is the exact opposite!
     I am a person who loves with my whole heart and I love this child. I love her so much that it is breaking my heart to hear that she is going. Absolutely killing me. I am angry and mad, frustrated and upset. I go between yelling and crying. I don't see how the adults 'in charge' of this situation are seeing that this is a good idea. She is a 15 year old CHILD, she should not be allowed to make such a huge choice. If it was any other situation I'd say of course she has a say, but this I don't. Sure, her mother may be doing well now, but what happens when she goes down hill again? And she will. We all know this. She knows this, she told me herself over the weekend. What happens then? What happens when her grandmother passes away from the cancer she is struggling with now? Why is no one thinking of this but me? Why is everyone letting a 15 year old tell them what she's going to do. She needs someone to take charge and put their foot down. It may be hard now, but in the future she'll see that when that was done it was showing exactly how much she is loved.
     I just do not understand. I am so upset. This is such a horrible choice for her and there is nothing I can do. I've written my pastor from my church to ask for some guidance. Maybe some bible verses that can guide me. I feel so helpless. This can not possibly be the best choice for her. She's been through so much already in her life and now they are just allowing her to go right back to it. I feel helpless and lost and so very sad.

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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Sicky Baby

    Last night we were so proud of Haleigh. She had eaten a whole jar of applesauce!! Amazing! She usually has a few bites or has it mixed in with her oatmeal but never has she eaten that much. She went to sleep on time last night (9ish) which was awesome. However, about thirty minutes after we had laid her down she started to throw up. I know the sound well since she was a throw up baby when she first came home. I yelled for Tyrone and we picked her up and cleaned the crib out as best we could. We figured she was just over stuffed and she'd be fine now. That was not the case.. she threw up
four or five times last night. Between 8am and 10am she threw up 6 or 7 times. My poor baby! I called her doctor and was waiting for the nurse to call me back. I had brought her downstairs and was attempting to pack up a bag in case we had to go to the doctor's office or the ER. She wasn't keeping down anything - formula or water. She was moppy, didn't want to play, didn't want to do anything, she just wanted to lay down. She kept falling asleep sitting up. My poor baby. Finally, I called the doctor back after we tried an oz of formula and she threw up twice that amount. The nurse said we need to be careful of dehydration. She needs to have at least 3 wet diapers, make sure when she crys she's actually having tears, and to check her mouth and make sure it's not dry. For an hour and a half I wasn't allowed to give her
anything. I needed to let her tummy rest a little while. Then for four hours, every 5 minutes, she is suppose to get two teaspoons of water. After the four hours are up, she can get a tablespoon of water every 10 minutes for 4 hours. 8 hours from when we started we could try to reintroduce formula. For an hour and a half we were doing water every 5 minutes which by the way Haleigh hates. She is thirsty and she wants her water NOW! Instead of literally using a teaspoon I measured it and put it in the bottle. I was just filling up the bottle to that point each time but now I'm just letting her take two-three sips of the water bottle. She is not a happy camper. I pray she'll be better by this afternoon. I do not like having a sick baby. I feel helpless and as much as I love her cuddles, I'd much rather see her crawling around getting in to things.

    It's 8:45pm we've given her 2.5 oz of watered down formula and she kept it down. Thank goodness! She got in two good naps today, which I'm grateful for, in many ways. She seems to be doing better, still a little cranky but better. I hope she wakes up in her regular cheerful mood in the morning without any problems during the night. Pray for us.

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Thursday, September 15, 2011

Pin It Thursday - My Dream Home

Wanna know my new favorite website?!!!!!
I'll be doing Pin It Thursday from now on
to show you some of my new favorite things that I've pinned.

Today: My Dream Home

Custom Search - making my house a home

     I love to find new websites to play on. The newest website I've found is This is website where you can search for everything you are wanting to buy and it shows you the sites that sell it. is a site that helps you compare and contrast prices on whatever you are looking for.
       Lately I've been looking for things that could turn our house in to a home. Candles are always number one on my list for the house but what else? I'd like a new duvet cover, the one we have now we've had for four or five years. I really wanted something other then blue because all we have ever had is blue. I was thinking green, then I saw this bed set. It's so neat and clean and grown up. Maybe I need a grown up duvet set or maybe I'll just go girly and tell Tyrone tough!
     Our dining room is small, very small, even smaller considering we keep our computer in there. We have our table against the wall with our four chairs surrounding it. Which is fine if it's just us at the house eating but what if we have company? I was considering getting some bar stools that I could store under the table when we aren't using them and when we do need them we can just take them out , pull the table away from the wall and ta-dah! What do you think? It's a possibility.
     Since I was a kid and my cousin had one of those road rugs that you can drive your hot wheels on the different roads, I've wanted one or something like that. I really like the idea of themed rugs. Who cares if girls are suppose to play with dolls and boys are suppose to play with cars. I like the hot wheels one and just might have to get it for Haleigh. If she takes after her mom at all she'll like hot wheels and tree climbing.
     What else? I need more pictures to hang up, maybe more lighting? It may take a little while but soon my house will be a home!

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Forever in our Memories

"Where were you when the world stopped turnin'
that September day?"

     September 11, 2001 I was walking in to my high school and saw everyone crowded around the television in the library. I remember sitting down in the 'library' and watching as they showed video clips of the WTC on fire. After a while we were told to head to our class rooms where we could continue to watch the coverage. After seeing the towers collapse I broke down crying and went in to the hall way. I attempted to call my family but my cell phone wasn't working. I went to another teacher's room to call my mom. I needed reassurance that my family in NY and NJ were okay. Everyone, thank God, was okay. I can remember so clearly where I was and what was happening on the television. I can remember the intense feelings I had as I found out that my home was being attacked. NY is my home, this country is my home. I felt sad, devastated, angry, betrayed. So many things all at once. All I could think was how could this be happening to us?
     Everyone has a story. Most people can remember exactly where they were when they found out about the attack on the United States. Whether you were there, knew someone was there, or were just watching the TV, you were affected. You don't need a 'connection' to be affected, your connection is live in this country and your country was attacked. It was a horrible thing that happened to us ten years ago today. Something that we can never forget. Today I've taken out time to pray for everyone who was there on that day, our heroes, our survivors and our fallen.
     It's hard to come up with the words to share how I'm feeling today. I know most of you understand as you are undoubtedly feeling the same thing. I feel a connection to everyone as we mourn this day and a sense of pride as we look at our military, police officers, fire fighters, and rescue workers. We need to remember to always be grateful for those who serve our country, not just during times of crisis but on a daily basis.
     Today my town, probably not unlike many others, had a 9-11 memorial. There was a line up of rescue vehicles through the downtown mall. At the end of the mall there were two fire trucks with their ladders up attached to these two ladders was a massive American flag. These two ladders holding the American flag were there to represent the twin towers and below these ladders was a piece of metal from the WTCs. It was an amazing sight. It was an amazing feeling to see all of these people come together to show respect for those who serve our country and those who lost their lives 10 years ago.
     What did you do today? Did you remember and share your story? Did you watch the news? Did you watch all the documentaries that they were airing? Did you go to a memorial? Did you say a prayer? Or did you turn the TV off because it is still too hard to think about? 


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Saturday, September 10, 2011

A Soggy Family With a Little Bit of Crunch

     A crunchy mom? What is that?

Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods. See crunchy and hippie.
That crunchy mama is breastfeeding in public again!

     While looking up how to explain what a 'crunchy mama' is I came across a forum on where a woman was saying she does some of these things but not all of them. "I wonder what a middle crunchy mommy is.. perhaps I am a little soggy." Perfect! I am a Soggy Mommy! hahaha! Then I found a test you can take that says I am "sprinkled with granola." So now I'm a soggy mommy with a little crunch. I love the internet.
     Here's what makes me a bit of a crunchy mommy: I cloth diaper, I use cloth wipes, I (sometimes) make Haleigh's baby food, I baby wear, I co-nap, Haleigh wears an amber necklace, and I attempted breastfeeding. I, however, do believe in vaccinations, public schools, eating meat (oh boy, do I ever love my meat), I clean with *gasp* clorox (sorry Hannah!), and I believe in hospitals and epidurals. I am a semi-crunchy mommy that is very happy with our choices. Our choices - why is it there is nothing about 'crunchy daddy's?' Maybe (probably), most men aren't in love with the whole idea of baby wearing/cloth diapering but what about the few that are? I happen to have a man who loves our cloth diapers, who turns his nose up at disposables (that's right, we're cloth diaper snobs - just ask my grandma who so kindly pointed this out to us) and wears our baby to go get the mail, and walk the dog. We are a crunchy family or at the very least a soggy family with a little bit of crunch and proud of it!

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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Sunday, September 4, 2011

New Chapter

     This past week I did something that absolutely broke my heart. I quit my job. It was not an easy decision for me to make. This job was a dream job. Holding a job with chronic pain and immune problems (aka being sick every time someone sneezes within a mile of me) is not an easy thing to do. I have a hard time standing or sitting for long periods of time. Some days I can go hours without the pain effecting me but eventually it always catches up with me. This job was one where I could sit with my feet up on a couch if I was in pain, I could take it easy on rough days, and most importantly, I could bring my baby. It was definitely my dream job. Unfortunately due to things beyond my control I couldn't continue to work there. I can't even explain how much it killed me. I made so many friends while working there that I don't want to leave behind. I know I've lost at least one of my friends due to this and it kills me. I'm not one to let go of friends easily. I value my friendships. I've been upset and crying over this decision (though I know I made the right one) for days. It's hard but I'm ready to start a new chapter in my life. Wish me luck!

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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Show me your stash!

     After Mama Momo asked on her facebook page "How many cloth diapers do you have in your stash" it got me thinking... how many DO I have?! I know I have a lot but I saw some mom's posting that they have 100+. I thought to myself there is no way I have that many diapers, right? Haleigh happened to be in disposables due to an infection so I washed all my diapers and counted. Oh boy. Here's what I came up with (JUDGE NOT!):

Infant Diapers (no longer using just storing for next baby)

Covers: 2 Nickys, 2 Bambino Mios, 2 Thirsties, 1 Mama's Simple Solutions
Fitteds: 1 mama made, 1 Tots Bots, 1 Thirsties
AIO: 2 Bottom Bumpers, 1 Happy Heiny, 2 Wonder Works
Pocket: 1 Fuzzibuns
Prefolds: 5 Bambino Mios

Large/XL Diapers that she doesn't fit yet

2 Cuddlebug Cloth and 1 Dream Eze

Diapers that are in our current rotation

Inserts (including the ones that are currently stuffed in my pocket diapers): 3 baby kicks, 3 baby kicks hemparoos, 1 motherease, 10 zorb, 12 flip stay dry inserts, 2 Thirsties hemp

Prefolds (including the ones that are stuffed in my pocket diapers): 11 Large unbleached, 3 Large bleached, 4 infant unbleached, 7 Econobum, 4 infant Bambino Mio,

Fitteds: 5 goodmamas, 3 Mama's Simple Solutions, 1 Thirsties, 1 Bumgenius

Covers: 3 Mama's Simple Solutions OS, 1 Best Bottoms, 6 Flips (1 is MIA), 3 Econobum, 1 Thirsties

AIO/AIT: 3 Swaddlebees, 3 Bottom Bumpers, 1 Dry Bees

Pockets: 1 Sun Diapers (apple), 4 Fuzzibuns, 2 Kawaiis, 2 Grovia, 2 Green Acres, 1 unknown, 3 Mama's Simple Solutions, 2 Beilesens.
      Not TOO much right?!  All together that's 21 Covers, 13 Fitteds, 15 AIO/AITs, 17 Pockets, 34 Prefolds, and 31 Inserts. That's 131 cloth diapering things but I feel like prefolds and inserts shouldn't be counted because they go IN the diapers. Is it bad that I still want more? I know.. it is bad! Oh well. Hello all, my name is Nicole and I'm addicted to cloth diapers. GET OVER IT and join me on the dark side!

     Here is how we keep our diaper stuff minus our cloth wipes because I completely forgot to take a picture of them. I have them in a wet bag made by Mama's Simple Solutions hanging off of the dresser. I have a lot of cloth wipes, at least half of them are from Mama's Simple Solutions!


Hope you enjoyed! Now, show me your stash!!

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Smack Dab in the Middle of God's Love - book review

Smack Dab in the Middle of God's Love
by Brennan Manning and John Blase

            I’m big into reading and hope that if I continue to read stories to my daughter she will also be a book lover like myself. So I recently got Smack-Dab in the Middle of God’s Love by Brennan Manning and John Blase. The first thing that caught my eye was the illustrations by Nicole Tadgell. She used beautiful colors that just popped off the page. I kept saying over and over again how amazing the illustrations were.
Once I got past the pictures and read the book, it was inspiring. This book, in so few pages, covers everything from love a husband and wife have for one another to God’s love for everyone. I think the most important question that was answer in the book was how could God possibly have enough room in his heart to love everyone. This is a great book to read to children to teach them about God and about love. I would definitely recommend this book to other mom’s I know.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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