Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Bad Idea

     I am taking a biology class at my local community college. It is a class I need in order to go on to a different college to get my BA. The teacher is awesome, laid back, not at all mean and intimidating like my last biology teacher. I won't lie, I was scared to take this class because it is in the summer and summer classes move at a fast pace and lets just face it - I suck at sciency stuff. So yesterday was an exam in class followed by a lab. We went to the lab and were told we'd be working with a bacteria. We were going to swab some of this bacteria in to a petri dish then use different chemicals that claim they kil bacteria to see which has the best result. Okay, not a big deal. Until he said what the bacteria was.
Staph. Staph, really? He must have seen the panic in mine (maybe others) eyes because he said as long as we follow protocol there should be no problem? I know I'm following protocol but what about the class before us? What about the other students in the class. I have NO immune system. I literally get sick any time anyone around me is sick. I was terrified of this lab. We were given gloves to wear but no face masks. We could wear aprons if we wanted to but what was aprons going to do? Needless to say I thought that this lab was a bad idea. Granted I don't know what strand of Staph this is, it is still staph. Could we not have used a bacteria that wasn't so intense? Not only did we do this yesterday but we also are redoing it next week to re-test our results. Stress or don't stress? I know there is nothing I can do. My options are fail or do this lab but still. I feel it is not a good idea. I followed all protocols, if I get an infection I'm suing. At the very least I better get an A!

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Friday, June 24, 2011

TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY - book review

by Jay Asher

     "Clay Jensen doesn't want anything to do with the tapes Hannah Baker made. Hannah is dead. Her secrets should be buried with her. Then Hannah's voice tells Clay that his name is on her tapes - and that he is, in some way, responsible for her death. All through the night, Clay keeps listening. He follows Hannah's recorded words throughout his small town......and what he discovers changes his life forever."

     Another book my sister handed to me. Only this time she said this was one of her favorite books that she has read so far. My sister, in general, has really good taste in books - so I was excited. I've been holding on to this book since Christmas to read. School always gets in the way of my recreational reading.
     One of my favorite parts of this book isn't actually the book it's the cover. On the inside of the cover is the map that Hannah talks about throughout the book. I found my self taking off the cover every time she mentioned something on the map, and looking for myself. Very smart idea. I also love the idea of starting a book with the end. Something I suggest, and just did myself, is once you are done with the book go back and read the first few pages again. Go ahead, have that Ah-ha moment.
     This book takes you through Hannah's high school life. She teaches you about how one things can lead to another, which can lead to another, the "snowball effect." As you go through the book you think about how you treat people yourself, did I say good-bye to my friend when I left the room? Did I use this person? So on and so forth. It really puts a new twist on how you should view things on life. Hopefully after this book you'll be more aware of the way you talk and act towards other people. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

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Friday, June 17, 2011

Trash it!

     I know I said I'd do a blog on how our road trip went with cloth diapering and a 4 month old but things have been hectic. And I do mean HECTIC! As soon as this weekend is over with I will have more time to blog about all I've wanted to blog about.
     For the first time Tyrone and I will be living on our own. Since we've been together we've always had roommates or housemates. Tonight we get the keys for our very own townhouse. Tonight we will walk through the doors of our very first home as a family. I am ecstatic. Tyrone is anxious about all that is left to do and there is indeed a lot left to do. I refuse to just throw things in boxes and bags without organization. It will just make for chaos when we are unpacking. Grama always says "If you do it right the first time, you won't have to do it again" and she is right. Everyone keeps saying well tonight/tomorrow when you run out of time you'll just throw everything in boxes and go. Wrong. I will not. I will throw it all out. I fully believe at least a third of what I own needs to be trashed. I have way too much stuff. We have so much packed and ready to go what scares me is how much is left. I do NOT want this much stuff. I need to down grade. I need to get rid of stuff. Who needs all this? All I need is my books, my bed, and stuff to cook with, and maybe a candle or two. Granted four or five boxes is all books. I have a problem, I know. Hello, my name is Nicole and I am addicted to reading. I don't keep EVERY book I read. just the good ones.
     Anyway, I'm getting off topic. I want to trash everything. Tyrone won't let me know, neither will my friends. I truly believe it's because, just like myself, they are hoarders at heart. Today is jam packed with work, packing, and moving. Once I'm done with work, I have to go mail off my cousin's bus ticket, pick up my keys to the house, then go get my grama from work, go home and pack, pack, pack until Rachel comes to get me to exercise. After I exercise it's pack, pack, pack until Tyrone gets home. After we go in the house together as a family, take it all in, my wonderfully amazing friends are going to help move as many boxes as we can tonight.
     Well, I have officially lost my train of thought. Wish me luck. I'll be back soon!

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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Next Summer by Hailey Abbott - book review

Next Summer
by Hailey Abbott

"Three girls. Too many Boys. One tempting summer.
Beth: I know i love George. And everyone thinks we're perfect together. So why does that sexy new lifeguard keep flirting with me? And why do I like it so much?
Ella: Bye-Bye, bad girl. I'm trying to change my wild ways. But there are so many yummy boys around this summer. How can I resist them?
Kelsi: Tim is totally not my type. Besides, after last summer, I need a break from boys. If only I could get him out of my head...
Things are heating up again. Can you handle it?"

    If you couldn't tell this is obviously made for a teenage audience. I grabbed this book from my sister when I had nothing to read and had to wait for my mom at her doctors appointment. This book is filled with drama, beach time, and boys, as all YA books should be. I enjoyed it but probably wouldn't buy her books for myself. Granted I might pick one up if it was around the house to read but not something I would buy. It's hard to get back into that teenage mentality when you are no longer one. Going back in time I'd probably give this book a 4.5 as an adult it gets a 3.

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Unleashed by Erwin McManus - book review

by Erwin Raphael McManus

     "Christian civilization is held together by rules and rituals; the barbarian revolt is fueled by the passion of God and guided by the mission of God. If our children are going to walk away from Christ, we need to raise them in such a way that they understand to walk away from Jesus is to walk away from a life of faith, risk, and adventure to choose a life that is boring, mundane, and ordinary." (pg 122)

    McManus wrote Unleashed to explain how he feels that Jesus wants us to live the barbarian way. He explains the difference between a civilized christian and a barbarian christian. Throughout this book McManus shares stories of his own along with stories of his family and how they handled them. Chapter by chapter he tells a story from the bible, a story of his own, and then what he got out of both of them. If ever there was a christian who felt like an outcast at their church because they did not follow the path everyone else was on, this would be the book for them. 
     I am not a person who often reads christian literature however this book seemed very interesting to me. I had never heard of a barbarian christian before and I won't lie, the name itself intrigued me. I am not as up to par with my bible knowledge as I should be so while reading this book I kept a bible near by so I could read what he was talking about in the bible as well. Every story he told was exactly what was written in the bible (only, of course, in different words). I loved the fact that he would tell a story from the bible, tell a correlating story from his/his family's life then reflect on it. One of my favorite parts in the book is when he tells his son to go ahead jump off the roof. I won't spoil his message from that story but it is a good one. I surprisingly enjoyed this book a lot. It is definitely a book that I will recommend to my friends.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”


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Saturday, June 4, 2011

Pops are no good!

This entry contains graphic descriptions having to do with Endometriosis. Here is why I talk about it.

     Two days ago I started a workout program that I was told by a few people I couldn't handle - due to Endo related problems. Guess who doesn't like to be told they can't do things? ME! I know I can do it. I just have to pace myself. Anyway, I started two days ago and I'm sore but doing good. This is just a little background information.
     Today while driving home from my Saturday cloth diapering/baby wearing Mommy get together I feel a pop inside my body. It's followed by huge amounts of pain and gushing blood. This happened a week or two ago. So I'm in pain, trying to concentrate on getting back to my house and worrying about the bleeding. My mom asked was it maybe my cycle starting? I don't think so 1. I'm not suppose to have regular 'cycles' because I have an IUD 2. I don't think it would start with a pop and a gush of blood. 3. I usually have tell tale signs that it is going to start and I haven't. So what could this be and why? It could be because of the exercising which would be frustrating because the doctor insists I must exercise (then again that doctor is convinced all my problems stem from the fact that I'm fat). Maybe it is my cycle starting, just in an odd fashion? Or maybe it is because my body hates me. I favor the third theory. I think it's because I was enjoying my day today. I was going to go out to lunch with a friend then going swimming with another friend. Followed by more exercising and packing. Nothing goes the way I want it to. I'm so frustrated (as my friend Brandy can tell, poor thing she called at the wrong time and I sobbed at her. I love her to death because she deals with me sobbing so well) with the whole situation.
     I just needed to vent. Maybe one of you ladies had a theory on why this could be? I guarantee your response would be quicker then either of the doctors I called. Wish me luck. I am going to attempt swimming because I know on a good day it would help.

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Why I talk about it

Why do you talk about Endometriosis and ALL that goes with it? 
     When I first was diagnosed with this disease I felt so alone and I wanted to be reassured that I wasn't. I was constantly trolling blogs and forums asking questions, reading what others were going through, and making friends. It is beyond helpful to know you aren't alone and that there is someone to talk about this stuff with. Some things having to do with this disease are no fun and not things you would talk to just anyone about. Once I started this blog I knew I was going to be open and honest about my disease. Granted this isn't JUST a blog about Endometriosis (although lately it does seem like that) it's also a blog to talk about my beautiful child, cloth diapering, baby wearing, and the books I read. Pretty much I blog about my life. Take it or leave it that's what I do. I will put warnings up if I am going to talk about something 'graphic' but I refuse to not blog about the bad stuff. I am not the only woman out there with Endometriosis. I know that there are millions of women out there fighting this disease (among other diseases as well). I am not the only person with these problems there for I will not be quiet about the things I go through. I hope that this blog with not only help others understand what I go through but more importantly let those who go through this as well, know that they are not alone.

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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Happy Birthday Tony

Happy Birthday Tony. I pray that you are happy and pain free. I hope that you are watching over us and seeing some of the amazing things that are happening. Can you see what a strong, wonderful woman Amber has become or how beautiful (and a carbon-copy of Amber) Ashley is? Do you laugh when Ashley gives Amber attitude and think of the times she did the same to you? Do you see how much Tony is like you? He has your sense of humor and your laugh. Oh boy does he have your laugh. I was sure it was all this was a lie the first time I heard him laugh. I was sure it was you. Are you looking out for mom? She's still the most amazingly strong person I know. She misses you so much. Can you see how much your baby is growing up? Isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? She's going to be a senior this year. She has an amazing boyfriend who I know you'd like. She's still a daddy's girl. She misses you terribly - we all do. She struggles with the fact that her daddy isn't here anymore. I hope you are watching out for her. Can you see me? I miss you. You know how I feel, you know my struggles with this all. Please just know I love you. Can you see my baby? She's beautiful isn't she? I know you'd love her. She's just like Angela... she growls, she's wild, she's gorgeous. I wish you could hold her and love on her. I wish she'd know her grandfather. I have to believe that you are looking down on us, seeing our lives play out and I'm hoping you have something to do with some of the good things that come our way. Have a wonderful birthday in heaven, I'll celebrate it with a little Van Morrison for you.

Oh and remember how we use to dance in the living room with mom? This song makes me think of all the good times.

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure
I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

Ooh, ooh

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah, yeah
Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he
Would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father

Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear her, mama cryin’ for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I’m prayin’ for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don’t do it usually
But Lord, she’s dyin’ to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

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